Enslaved at heart

I can't stop thinking about what happened this morning and what he said. It's felt like things have been changing for a while but this felt like one of those big change moments. I sat with it for most of today. I know I can turn this around and back out. I know that if I don't I'll likely wind up becoming his oral and anal only slave. If I embrace it, the journey will be shorter, but that's where it's going unless I fight it now and ask him not to.

I love and hate the idea of being kept denied. Of the only sex I experience being only for his pleasure. I want to come so badly but the thought of snapping on nipple clamps and directing my desire into service of him is so fucking hot.

Around lunchtime I bought an anal douche online with Express Delivery. Then I dug out my anal training plug set. I haven't used it for a while but last time I did the middle one was okay and I struggled with the biggest one. I am surprised to discover that I can take the middle one easily now and it won't stay in while I do my chores. The biggest one goes in easier than it ever has and stays snug while I do my housework. Clearly all the anal has stretched me.

I keep it in for hours while I work and it disturbs me how comfortable it feels. I read up about anal training, denial sluts who give their all for their masters, about what a life of service can be.

Can I forsake all pleasure and satisfaction for the rest of my life for him? Can I sacrifice my desire on the altar of his pleasure? I actually don't know but I think I really, really want to find out.